It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Randomize
