Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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