dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
