oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
you told grandpa to call you daddy
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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