Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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