Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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