Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
