Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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