I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
