Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
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