i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
