UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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