She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
