I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
