Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize