Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
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