i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Randomize
