Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
This girl is more easily done than said...
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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