we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
