Midget sex pt 2 tonight
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i love accidental penises.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
