just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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