Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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