with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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