You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
false alarm. still invincible.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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