you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
