Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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