In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
