He disabled his match.com account in front of me
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
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