escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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