Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
