Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
