where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
