I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize