I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Randomize
