I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize