ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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