garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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