I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
