Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize