no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize