i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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