He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
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