No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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