After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
