When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize