Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
