I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
He kissed a someone with a penis
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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