He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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