I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Randomize
