just survived the first fart of the relationship.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
