so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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