My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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