This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
