Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
