I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
