i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize