Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
