Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
