I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize