so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
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