SEEEEXXX PLEASE
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I think a kid would responsible me up
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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