took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
