What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
